Boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex

Dear Pastor,

I have a boyfriend and, every time we talk on the phone, he is asking me when I am going to give him ‘that thing’.

I am only 19 years old and I have never had sex. He is a police officer in his 20s. I love him very much, but the only thing I don’t like is that he seems not to be able to control his mind. He has had other girlfriends before me; he told me so. I cannot change that, but I told him that I am not ready to have sex.

Sometimes when I am in my room and I am talking to him, he tells me where on my body I should touch and I should act as if we are making love. He makes sexual noises as if he is feeling so good, and I told him repeatedly that he should learn to behave himself. He says that he is behaving but he is dying to have me in his arms. I told him that he has to learn to wait.

One night, this man called me 15 times. I eventually had to block him. He asked me if I would give him permission to have sex with one of my friends who I introduced him to on the phone. I told him that I did not expect him to ask me to share him, but if he cannot wait until I am ready, we can end our relationship. Do you think I should continue to see this guy as my boyfriend? I don’t masturbate even when he encourages me to do so. I told my friend that he asked me if I would allow him to have a relationship with her and she told me that she has her boyfriend, so he is wasting his time.

C.

Dear C.,

I would suggest that you end the friendship that you are having with this man.

You are only 19 years old and perhaps you really love this man, but he should not be pressuring you to have sex with him. You should tell him that, if he continues to pressure you, he is going to lose you as his girlfriend.

Pastor