I suspect my girlfriend is cheating with our driver

Dear Pastor,

I am a worried man. I am living with my girlfriend and we have been together for five years.

I took her with three children who I supported as my own. When we started out together, she had nothing. I had a house that I inherited from my aunt and I added two rooms so that we all could be comfortable. I helped this woman to get a job but now she has totally changed.

I have one daughter who is in her 20s. Sometimes, if she doesn't come to the house to assist me, I would suffer. I cannot work as hard as before because I got hurt in an accident. I don't walk very well, so I suspect that this woman has another man. I asked her if that is the case and she told me that she does not want any other man in her life. But, Pastor, I am not a fool.

I have a taxi on the road and the driver brings me money every week. All this woman wants to know is whether I got the money from the driver. The driver knows that he should pick her up every Saturday and take her to the supermarket. I do not want to judge them, but I suspect that she is having an affair with him. He is not bringing in the amount of money that he should.

MONEY SHORT

Two weeks ago, I asked him why the money was short and he said it wasn't. He said he gave the full amount to my woman. She said she used the money to buy the things we needed. I also observed that my driver doesn't have as much respect for me as he used to have. I said it to my woman and she said that I should leave the man alone because she is accustomed to him, so I suspect her. The children are respectful. My daughter is wondering why I have to try to cook even though this woman is here. That is a question I cannot answer. As soon as my condition improves, I am hoping to take back my car and help myself on the road. Do you think that is a good idea?

I love her children but I cannot continue to deal with this woman. She has become unhelpful and is using up some of the money that I should save to get treatment from the doctor. My daughter is a Christian and she is encouraging me to become one too. She is also encouraging me to get married, but there is no way I can marry this woman. Whenever she cooks, she does not even add vegetables, and I like my vegetables. Whenever I mention that to her, it causes a big fuss. How can that be right? When I used to jump around for myself, we didn't have big arguments, but now I am not that active. I am really suffering. Give me your advice.

S.O.

Dear S.O.,

Don't go back on the road until you are fully recovered from your injury. I am really sorry to hear that you got hurt.

I know you are a good man and some people may wonder why I describe you as such. You have taken this woman with three children who you have been supporting. The children are respectful to you. If you were not treating them well, they would not respect you. Children are very smart and they know when people are good to them. I believe that their mother should remember where she is coming from, how good you have been to her and to the children, and how costly it would have been if she had to pay rent and utilities every month.

Is it any wonder that some people, particularly girls, had to hook up with men so that they can pay rent every month? I am glad that you are living in your own house. I think it is unfair for you to be accusing your woman of having an affair with the taxi driver. I know you are not foolish, but, to me, you don't have enough proof that she might be having an affair with him. I would rather you give her the benefit of the doubt. You should always insist that the driver brings the money to you every week and not give it to your woman. If the amount is short, he should give you good reasons why.

I repeat, do not go back on the road until you are fully recovered. I hope that you will be able to save and maintain the car, perhaps purchasing another taxi in the near future.

Pastor