My fiancé is very stingy with his money

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I am asking you for your advice. I am working in my father's business. He has a secretary, but even before I was employed at the business, my father trusted me with the accounts and the company pays me.

I am engaged to be married. My father loves my fiance, but my father has taught my sister and I to be financially independent. This guy who likes me works at a car mart, so almost every day he drives a different car. But I know that the cars are not his. I like to go out. I do not like to cook, but whenever this guy and I go out, he insists that we should split the bill 50/50. He said that these are modern days, so women should not depend on men to pay for everything.

My sister says that when her boyfriend takes her out, he pays for everything. The only thing she does sometimes is to tip the waiter and she has to tell her boyfriend that she would do so. My fiance does not spend much on me. I asked him how much he earns but he refused to tell me. I asked him whether he has savings and he told me I will soon find out. There are things he will not say until we are married. My sister said I should start looking around for another man. I know if I should tell my father what is going on, he would tell me to leave this man right away. My fiance tells me that he would love to become a part of my father's business, but I told him that he would have to disclose everything about himself to my father and my father is not looking for an new investor.

Don't you think that this man is not coming clean with me? My sister's boyfriend takes her to nice places. I have gone with my fiance to a couple of nice places but because I have to split the bill, I don't encourage him to take me to the type of places that my sister goes. I need your advice, please.

S.E.

Dear S.E.,

Don't even consider marrying this man. In Jamaica some women will describe such a man as being too tight, others would say that he is mean.

But whatever you may wish to call him, he will not make you a good husband. You should stop going out with him. You know money and you know that a good man should not insist that when he takes out a woman, the woman should split the bill with him. He is sending a very bad message to you. I can imagine what would happen if you were to marry this man. You may find yourself paying most of the bills. But it is easy for you to get out of this relationship. You should tell him that you cannot continue to have a relationship with him if he refuses to tell you how much he earns and how does he spends his money.

A woman has the right to know these things about her man because money runs things. Foolish people say that women want to know too much about men before they marry them. You can't make love on hungry belly. How would you pay your bills if you are not earning? Don't go anywhere with this man. No more splitting of the bills. Tell this man to get lost you are wasting your time with him.

Pastor